On Your Birthday

It’s Her Birthday Today!

Happy Birthday,
People can certainly go, but they do not leave. There is a difference in that.
Life goes on, times move ahead and mornings get brighter again. But, nothing stops the void that you feel when a thought strikes you. It has been two years that you haven’t been with us anymore. I will always miss how I wasn’t able to convey all the love that my heart held for you in the 20 years that I got to live with you. Your demise has taught me one thing. I have realised the importance of not taking people for granted. It has also changed the way I loved people. No, am not blaming you, you did that to me for the good. After I lost you, I realised how necessary it was to love people while you have them. It taught me the fear of not knowing when it is the last time that you have somebody.
After you went away, I would try writing about the things I had to say, I would try to rest on the stories that you used to tell me, I tried to talk to your photographs. But, I still had the remains of how you will never know all of it. Wherever you are, you will only remember the part that I gave to you, you will never know of what my heart held for you.
In all honesty, I wish I had known that I won’t have you forever. I wish there had been a way to let you know. After all of this, I changed the way I would be with the people I love. I always felt the need to keep telling them what they mean to me. I always wanted to go the extra mile to do things for them. I wanted to show them they mattered. No matter how much time I spent with someone, I would never let them feel that importance sink in and to be kept on hold. I always wanted to state that each relationship that I truly adhered to, meant a lot for me. I never wanted to experience the fear of again not knowing the last time that I could be with someone. 

But, in the midst of all of it, I forgot, I forgot that it was all inside me. All that I felt wasn’t couldn’t be held. I forgot that the people I so dearly wanted to hold onto, were similar like the earlier versions of mine who would never know. They will never know why I wanted to love people so much.

There are a few things that remain etched in your heart. I promise to hold all the love I had to give. Just the way I was, people will never know why I feel the need to do this. All the love that I have held, all that I have to give, I will have a hope in my heart that someday, when am not there to reach out, my absence will let them now.

I wish nobody gets to it as late as I did for you.

I wish there was a way to let your heart know. I wish people understood that someone can love you desperately with their feelings and still might at times, not understand how to correctly love you with their actions that seem acceptable to you.
In such times, I only wish there was communication, patience and a will to let this love be.

While I Showered

The title is enough to convey that this piece comes from the heart and gives out the absolute truth.

The title is enough to convey that this piece comes from the heart and gives out the absolute truth.

While I showered today,

These thoughts poured down my mind

like the water droplets pouring down my body.

When I became an adult, 

things didn’t change just for me,

they changed in ways good and bad,

they changed with me and within me.

I didn’t just get up on my own feet and stand for myself,

I did little things i never imagined i could and felt happy about it.

I didn’t just start living alone,

I understood and managed a home.

I didn’t just realise the importance of certain things,

I also got to know the misery it brings.

I started staying at home and in my comfort zone,

I had lesser friends than before,

but only those who stayed in my heart’s core.

I stayed silent at times,

for reasons of no such sublime.

I threw my rage at wrong people and places,

some of which may have left several traces,

on our bonds and hearts and our spaces.

But all of it has nowhere made me love those people and situations lesser

After all, it has been one kind of a lesson

I believe in the good and know that I will find a balance between who I wish to be and who I need to be,
In the meantime, I am grateful to myself and all those who gave their best in trying to be at peace with who I am.

It’s Her Birthday Today!

Dear Grandma,

My life is going good. Though, I feel it could be nicer with you by my side.

In those 20 years that I lived with you, I never realised how it feels when you lose a love. I often remember the times when I came running to you for whatever I wanted. I loved how you were always a saviour when I tried to escape from Mom and Dad.

You made my evenings perfect with all the stories you narrated and read out to me.
 Little did I know, those were your ways to imbibe important life lessons into me. You were like a best friend : Someone who got on my nerves at times but yet the one I couldn’t stay away from.

There was this one thing about you that always interested me.

When the rest of us were upstairs and you wanted to go out, you’d always shout at the top of your voice and let us know about your outing.

I will always wonder why you let go off that habit. And if I could meet you again, I’d never forgive you for this.

Why did you decide to leave without telling us.

I came home one day and saw you had left. I felt it was an illusion and so I tried talking to you while you lied there on the bare floor. The crying faces of people who had gathered around you tried to stop me but I wasn’t ready to believe that you had gone without letting me know.

Today as I grabbed a can of coke that read ‘Share a coke with Grandma’,

I realised how much I’d like doing that. And I promise I would let you have the whole can to stop you from going again only if you were here one more time

Together We Make It

Time does not always treat you the same way. Good times do not often seem to last long and bad times feel everlasting.

A bad day at school or work, An argument with family, A fight with a friend, Bad food, A failure or a breakup.

Each of these feel exhausting and make us want to cry out loud. But sobbing about things doesn’t always help.

What do you do then? How do you overcome problems you can do nothing about? How do you feel okay?

Well, Here’s a tip that won’t ever go wrong:

Find people or a person- Yes! We often underestimate the power of a conversation. People together can create wonders and talking really helps. We just need to get it out. Be frank and open on how you feel.

I have been through dull times but have tried and observed how conversations help out. It may be possible that you find it odd to communicate but the person at the other end is just waiting for you to reach out to them.

When you are lucky enough to have people around you, don’t wait and overthink. Just rush to them and talk it out. The power of words- the magic of a conversation is just Magnificent.

We wouldn’t have airplanes if the Wright brothers didn’t have a conversation about it.

The magic of Disney wouldn’t exist if Roy and Walt Disney would not have spoke their ideas out.

There would be no Marvel vs DC if Ron Marz and Peter David kept these thoughts to themselves.

Simran would have left if Raj wouldn’t have asked her to turn around.

We wouldn’t have witnessed the epitome of Love if Romeo hadn’t crashed the party and approached Juliet.

Worldcup 2011 would not have been our victory if the 11 players wouldn’t have discussed.

Harry Potter wouldn’t exist to delight us if J.K Rowling wouldn’t go around telling her stories to more than 12 publishers.

We would be unaware of the issues if Arnab didn’t preach by telling us that “India Wants To Know”.

Indeed, Everyone wants to know. Everyone has to know. Everyone should now.

Go on and talk your heart out. I am pretty sure you will find some healing out there.

 

 

Alive

I feel the best when I feel free

The beauty of the bare night sky will always amaze me more than crowded dance bars.

The afternoons I can spend curled up in my couch and reading my favourite books are when I feel the most alive.

The feel of fresh air and the smell of flowers interest me more than the best perfume stores.

A little time with my close ones relieves me more than spending my evenings in front of the screen.

Looking at the waves come and go lets me experience the kind of solitude I would want to live for.

Giving myself the time I need and finding my ways to actualise the real meaning of ‘happy’ for my own self means more than anything to me.

Letting my hair fly free, letting myself get lost in the breeze, I feel like the petals of dandelions rising swiftly in the air.

Pay back

They provide shelter when you sweat.

They provide wood when you build, write and read.

They provide fruits when you starve.

They are the home to your cattle in rains and storms.

They provide oxygen for you to live.

WE DO NOT HONOUR OR CHERISH THEM BUT THE LEAST WE CAN DO IS LET THEM BREATH. 💚

Little things 🌸

The past few days have been a little difficult for me. At times, all of us may face situations wherein we feel life’s a complete mess. Everything around seems dull and nothing helps to get out of that feeling.
When you feel you haven’t figured out the uncertainties and have no idea of the path ahead.
But gradually, I realised that it is nothing so much severe and all it takes for us is a little hope and a little time.
Find ways to engage yourselves and stay positive.
To my rescue, I talked with family, friends and loved ones and those conversations are a sure shot for making me feel okay.
I tried to binge on some interesting shows, went for an outing with my cousin and suddenly felt happy.
There are tough times but you will always get through them.
At the end, it’s the simple things in life that matter.
At the end, I continue to stick to what I love the most- I write!